10 mistakes in a relationship ;)
Hi everyone! ;)
Those who know me, already know that i´ve been married for almost 7 years already! Say what??! Only thinking of it gives me a headache! Not because it´s been too long, but because of how time flies!
Yes, so, husband and i have been together for almost 9 years (i´ve never actually counted it and it´s not like we have a special date, or something), in fact we know each other since i was 7, we used to live in the same city.
Why would i give someone relationship advice? Not because our marriage is better than others, but because i´ve learned so much these years and why not share it with you? And because today it`s Valentine´s, it might be a good topic ;)
- The first mistake in a relationship, "Trying to impress the other" Don´t! Sooner or later your partner will see the natural you and if it´s worse, he´ll be disappointed. It´s easy to impress someone, but it´s important to overcome this tendency and be more natural.
- The second mistake, and maybe the most important one is when: "You expect your partner to make you happy!" I really didn´t know this when i got married, i realized it only this week, haha, no, long time ago, but i wish i´d knew it from the beginning. Girls grow up with this idea they´ll find a guy that´ll make a great effort to give their lives a meaning and they put this responsibility on him. A pretty hard task, i might say! You can make yourself happy, only you! and then find a great person to share it with you! ;) Life is not a stupid fairy-tale, where the prince gives you a kiss, marries you, buys you dresses and make you his queen. “If I seek to fulfill my own needs at the expense of my partner, we are sure to experience unhappiness, resentment, and conflict. The secret of forming a successful relationship is for both partners to win.” John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
- "Don´t underestimate the difference between the 2 genders!" This is another thing i had problems with, but i think i get it now ;) “Not only do men and women communicate differently but they think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need, and appreciate differently.” John Gray
- "Being a mother!", oh, so many people do that! Let me explain, i´ve seen many women behave like a mother to their partners. After a while, of course, not right from the beginning, cuz that´d be to obvious. Men need a girlfriend!!! Not a naggy being! Don´t be bossy with them, don´t tell them what to do! But if you do, don´t request, just ask ;)
- "Always mentioning imperfections!" This one i really hate. Why are you with this person? Because of her/his qualities and despite of the bad habits, well, there you go! Concentrate on the positive, unless the negative is so disturbing, you need to say it! But don´t you make it in public! Why would you humiliate your beloved one in front of others?
- Show a genuine, sincere interest in him. Yes, you love him, but that´s not enough. There are moments where you have to take it a little further and it might not be easy. For example, if you want to make something nice for the other, think what he might like. That´s a hint! Don´t spend the day cleaning the house and when she/he arrives, you´re so tired and in a bad mood, that you somehow even blame them for that. They didn´t ask! You decided to do it! If you´re into healthy food, but he doesn´t like it that much, don´t surprise him with steamed cauliflower, but grilled one (and some Parmesan on the side)
- Be on time! I never am! How stupid is that? Every time i promise myself i won´t be late next time..but i´m still working on it, don´t judge ;)
- “Men need to remember that women talk about problems to get close and not necessarily to get solutions.” John Gray Men really get frustrated here, it´s difficult for them to understand that ;)
- Don´t get easily angry or upset! Life is hard and there´ll always be problems, don´t let yourself in your own way! Put yourself in other´s place and try to understand his point of view. Don´t take the relationship for granted, only if you´re Angelina Jolie (smiley face) then you can, at least for a while, but eventually it´ll also end. Be positive, grateful, joyful, avoid annoying situations or monotony and never forget why you decided to be with person in the first place.
- Do projects together! It´s important that both have some common interests, that bring them together. I´m so looking forward to traveling the word and to new adventures with this guy! ;)
That´s it, these are some of my "DONT´S" in a relationship. Of course we change, evolve, struggle, get bored, life gets in the way..but if we connect and are happy with our partners, i´m pretty sure there´ll always be a solution.
love, i ;)